Small tidbits and Sparks of wisdom

(Based on Bartenuea)

Hillel says:

הוּא הָיָה אוֹמֵר: אִם אֵין אֲנִי לִי, מִי לִי? וּכְשֶׁאֲנִי לְעַצְמִי, מָה אֲנִי? וְאִם לֹא עַכְשָׁיו, אֵימָתָי?

«“If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am for myself alone, what am I? And if not now, when?”»

This famous Mishnah is sometimes misunderstood to mean: “I come first. First I must take care of myself and secure my own needs and future, and only afterward should I worry about somebody else.”

But that is not what the Bartenura explains.

1. “If I Am Not for Myself”

The Bartenura writes:

אם אין אני לי — אם אין אני זוכה לעצמי, מי יזכה בשבילי

«“If I am not for myself” — if I do not acquire merit for myself, who will acquire merit for me?»

Hillel is not teaching selfishness. He is teaching personal responsibility.

Nobody else can perform my obligations for me. Nobody else can build my portion in the World to Come for me. If there is a mitzvah that is my responsibility, I cannot simply assume that somebody else will take care of it.

If a person needs my help and the Torah obligates me to help him, I cannot excuse myself by saying, “Someone else will give.” If my community has a need for which I bear responsibility, I cannot simply wait for another person to act.

If I do not earn my own zechus through my own actions, who will earn it for me?

2. “And If I Am for Myself, What Am I?”

The Bartenura continues:

וכשאני לעצמי — ואפילו זכיתי לעצמי, מה הוא הזכות הזה ובמה נחשב הוא כנגד מה שאני חייב לעשות

«“And if I am for myself” — even if I have acquired merit for myself, what is this merit and what is it worth compared with everything that I am obligated to do?»

This makes it even clearer that Hillel is not saying, “Me first.”

He is saying almost the opposite.

Even after a person has accomplished something, given tzedakah, learned Torah, performed mitzvos and helped others, he should ask himself:

How much have I really accomplished compared with what Hashem has given me and what I am still obligated to do?

A person should not become satisfied merely because he has accumulated some merit.

3. “And If Not Now, When?”

The Bartenura explains:

ואם לא עכשיו — בעולם הזה

«“And if not now” — in this world.»

This is the key to understanding the entire Mishnah.

Now means Olam HaZeh — this world.

This is the world of action. This is where a person can perform mitzvos, give tzedakah, help another Jew, learn Torah, support Torah, perform chesed and build his eternal future.

After a person leaves this world, the opportunity to perform those mitzvos is gone.

Money can remain. Businesses can remain. Buildings can remain. Investments can remain.

But the opportunity to turn those possessions into mitzvos belongs to now.

The Mishnah Is About Responsibility, Not Selfishness

Therefore, it is a serious mistake to quote:

“If I am not for myself, who will be for me?”

as a general Torah slogan meaning:

“First secure myself and my future. I come first.”

There are specific halachos governing a person’s own necessities, his family’s obligations, chayecha kodmin, tzedakah, relatives, community responsibilities and the needs of the poor. Those halachos determine priorities.

But that is not the message of this Mishnah.

Hillel is speaking about something much deeper:

If I do not perform my mitzvos, nobody can perform my life for me.

If someone needs help today and I am obligated and capable of helping, I should not automatically justify holding everything for what I might need tomorrow.

Tomorrow is uncertain.

The mitzvah standing before me is real.

Final Reflection

The three statements of Hillel form one continuous message:

If I do not take responsibility for my own mitzvos, who will do so for me?

Even when I have accomplished something, what have I really accomplished compared with everything I am obligated to do?

And if I do not act now, during my lifetime in this world, when exactly do I expect to do it?

That is not a philosophy of “me first.”

It is a philosophy of “my responsibility first.”

A person’s true investment in himself is not merely what he accumulates for tomorrow.

It is what he does with today to build his eternity.

Source: Pirkei Avot 1:14; Bartenura ad loc.