Repentance, or Teshuvah (תשובה), is not merely an expression of regret for past wrongdoing. It is a process through which a person recognizes his mistakes, abandons his wrongful conduct, humbles himself before G-d, and makes a sincere commitment to change his future behavior.
In Chovos HaLevavos, Shaar HaTeshuvah, Chapter 4, Rabbeinu Bachya explains that there are four essential elements of repentance. Each represents a different aspect of a person’s spiritual transformation.
What is particularly interesting is that Rabbeinu Bachya compares each of these four elements to ordinary human relationships. Just as reconciliation between two people requires more than words, reconciliation between man and G-d requires genuine internal change.
1. Remorse — Charatah (חרטה)
The first element of repentance is sincere remorse for past sins.
A person must recognize that his actions were wrong and feel genuine regret for having committed them. This remorse demonstrates that he now considers his previous conduct shameful and unacceptable.
As the prophet Yoel states:
“Who knows whether He will turn and relent and leave a blessing behind?” (Yoel 2:14)
By contrast, the prophet Yirmeyahu describes those who continue in their wrongdoing without regret:
“No one regrets his wickedness and says, ‘What have I done?’” (Yirmeyahu 8:6)
Rabbeinu Bachya explains that the same principle applies to relationships between people.
When someone has wronged another person, the injured party is much more likely to forgive him when he recognizes that the offender genuinely regrets what he has done.
Remorse is therefore the beginning of reconciliation. Without regret, there is no indication that the person truly recognizes his wrongdoing.
2. Abandoning the Sin — Azivas HaChet (עזיבת החטא)
The second element is to stop committing the sin and abandon the wrongful behavior.
Remorse alone is insufficient if a person continues doing exactly what he previously regretted.
Rabbeinu Bachya explains that abandoning sin demonstrates a person’s firm belief in divine reward and punishment.
As the prophet Yeshayahu states:
“Let the wicked person forsake his way, and the corrupt individual his thoughts.” (Yeshayahu 55:7)
The opposite is described in Yeshayahu 57:17, where a person continues following his wrongful ways despite divine punishment.
Once again, Rabbeinu Bachya draws a comparison to human relationships.
Imagine a person who repeatedly harms his friend. He apologizes and expresses remorse, but continues committing the same offense.
His apology carries little meaning because his conduct remains unchanged.
However, when he both regrets the wrongdoing and stops repeating it, his friend has reason to believe that his remorse is genuine.
True repentance requires a change in conduct, not merely a change in feelings.
3. Confession and Asking Forgiveness — Viduy (וידוי)
The third element is admitting one’s wrongdoing and asking G-d for forgiveness.
This requires humility.
A person must be willing to acknowledge his mistakes rather than defend, excuse, or conceal them.
Rabbeinu Bachya explains that confession is an expression of humility before G-d and helps bring about forgiveness.
As Mishlei states:
“He who conceals his sins will not succeed, but he who admits and forsakes them will be shown mercy.” (Mishlei 28:13)
Conversely, Yirmeyahu warns against denying wrongdoing:
“I will bring you to judgment for saying, ‘I have not sinned.’” (Yirmeyahu 2:35)
The same principle applies when one person has wronged another.
If the offender humbles himself, acknowledges the injury he caused, admits his wrongdoing, and sincerely asks forgiveness, the injured person may be moved to forgive him and remove resentment from his heart.
There is an important distinction between regret and confession.
A person may privately regret something while refusing to admit that he was wrong. Confession requires him to overcome his pride and openly acknowledge his responsibility.
4. A Firm Commitment Never to Repeat the Sin — Kabbalah LeAsid (קבלה לעתיד)
The fourth element is making a sincere commitment, in one’s heart and innermost being, never to repeat the wrongdoing.
Rabbeinu Bachya explains that this commitment demonstrates that a person fully recognizes both the wrongfulness of his conduct and the seriousness of his offense.
As Iyov declares:
“If I have done evil, I will do it no more.” (Iyov 34:32)
Similarly, the prophet Hoshea states:
“Assyria will not save us… and we will never again call the work of our hands our god.” (Hoshea 14:4)
This represents more than an apology for the past. It is a commitment concerning the future.
Rabbeinu Bachya again illustrates this through human relationships.
When someone who has harmed another person expresses regret, abandons the wrongful conduct, admits his mistake, and sincerely undertakes never to repeat it, he has completed the essential steps of reconciliation.
The injured person can now recognize that the offender is not simply seeking forgiveness but is genuinely committed to changing his behavior.
The Difference Between Regret and Genuine Teshuvah
These four elements teach us that repentance is not a single emotional experience.
A person may feel terrible about something he has done, but that feeling alone does not complete the process of Teshuvah.
Each step addresses a different aspect of the wrongdoing:
1. Remorse: Recognizing that the past action was wrong.
2. Abandoning the sin: Immediately stopping the wrongful conduct.
3. Confession: Humbly admitting responsibility and asking forgiveness.
4. Commitment for the future: Resolving sincerely never to repeat the offense.
The order is significant.
Remorse changes the person’s attitude toward his past. Abandoning the sin changes his present behavior. Confession expresses his humility and acknowledgment of responsibility. Finally, the commitment not to repeat the offense establishes his intentions for the future.
Rabbeinu Bachya’s comparison to human relationships makes these principles especially understandable.
We would not consider an apology sincere if the offender continued the same behavior, refused to admit responsibility, or had no intention of changing.
The same standards apply to our relationship with G-d.
Teshuvah is therefore not simply asking to be forgiven for what we have done. It is recognizing our wrongdoing, correcting our conduct, accepting responsibility, and committing ourselves to a different future.
Source: Chovos HaLevavos (Duties of the Heart), Shaar HaTeshuvah (The Gate of Repentance), Chapter 4, pp. 617–619 of the photographed English edition.
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