Small tidbits and Sparks of wisdom

Introduction

The Gemara (102b) brings the shittah of R’ Yosi who holds that if one is in the middle of eating a seudah as Shabbos comes in, he can continue eating. Once he finishes, he takes two cups of wine. He uses the first one for Birkas Hamazon and the second for kiddush. [The Baal Hamaor (s.v. v’ha) explains that the reason he uses the first one for Birkas Hamazon is because Birkas Hamazon is more tadir, constant, than kiddush.] He cannot use one cup for both Birkas Hamazon and kiddush, explains the Rashbam, because one is not supposed to do mitzvos in “bundles” (“chavilos chavilos”). If one were to do both Birkas Hamazon and kiddush (or, for that matter, any other mitzvos in bundles) together, it gives the appearance that mitzvos are a burden.

Still, the Gemara says, when Yom Tov falls out on Motzei Shabbos, we use the same cup of wine for both kiddush and havdalah. This is not a problem of doing mitzvos in bundles because kiddush and havdalah are “one thing.” Rashi and the Rashbam explain this to mean that both are about Yom Tov.

Tosafos

Based on our Gemara, Tosafos (s.v. she’ein) says that one should use a separate cup of wine for the berachah of erusin and the berachah of nesuin that are recited at a chuppah. Tosafos explains that they cannot be considered “one thing,” as they are completely independent berachos (as evidenced by the fact that one can recite them at two different times).

Tosafos writes that based on our Gemara, some have the minhag not to use the same cup of wine for Birkas Hamazon and sheva berachos. Instead, after one finishes Birkas Hamazon he uses a separate cup for six of the seven berachos, and uses the Birkas Hamazon cup for hagefen. However, Tosafos quotes Rabbeinu Meshulam who held that this is unnecessary. In his opinion, sheva berachos and Birkas Hamazon are indeed “one thing” (like kiddush and havdalah) since it is the Birkas Hamazon that causes the chiyuv of sheva berachos.

It seems from Tosafos that Rabbeinu Meshulam only argued about Birkas Hamazon and sheva berachos. Regarding birchas erusin and nesuin, though, which are two completely separate berachos independent of one another, even Rabbeinu Meshulam would agree that one must use two cups. However, see Rosh (10:8) who says that Rabbeinu Meshulam argued regarding birchas erusin and nesuin as well, and held that one cup may be used for both berachos.

Understanding the Machlokes

Perhaps we can explain the machlokes between Tosafos and Rabbeinu Meshulam based on the Acharonim’s debate regarding the geder of sheva berachos and its relationship to Birkas Hamazon.

The Brisker Rav famously held [see Chiddushei HaGriz (Inyanim B’sugyos Hashas, siman 18 os 3)] that sheva berachos were instituted as an addition into Birkas Hamazon. He deduced this from the Rambam’s placement of these halachos. In the second perek of Hilchos Berachos, the Rambam discusses the different additions that one adds into Birkas Hamazon. In halachah 5, he discusses adding Retzei on Shabbos and Yaaleh V’yavo on Yom Tov. In halachah 6 he discusses adding Al Hanissim on Chanukah and Purim, and in halachah 8 he mentions the additions that are added in a beis avel. In halachah 9 he discusses the halachos of sheva berachos, which seems to indicate that birchas chassanim was instituted as an addition into Birkas Hamazon, no different than Retzei that we add every Shabbos. Those who follow minhagei Brisk are therefore makpid not to recite any of the sheva berachos unless they took part in the seudah and are obligated in Birkas Hamazon.

However, in Haamek She’eilah (She’ilta 16 os 3), the Netziv writes that sheva berachos are not part of Birkas Hamazon, and in fact, he infers this from the very same halachos of the Rambam! If one looks carefully at the wording of the Rambam he will notice that the Rambam used a slightly different wording when discussing birchas chassanim than he used when discussing the berachos made in a beis avel. In halachah 8, the Rambam writes, “And when one says Birkas Hamazon in a beis avel, he says in the fourth berachah…” which indicates that the berachos of the beis avel are inserted into Birkas Hamazon, i.e., they become part of Birkas Hamazon. However, by birchas chassanim, the Rambam writes, “In a beis chassanim, we recite the birchas chassanim after the four berachos…” which sounds like the sheva berachos are not part of Birkas Hamazon. The Netziv also brings Maseches Sofrim (perek 19) which says that they were noheig to recite sheva berachos even without having a seudah.

Based on this we can say that Tosafos, who maintained that one should use a separate cup for Birkas Hamazon and sheva berachos, held like the Netziv, that sheva berachos are not part of Birkas Hamazon. Rabbeinu Meshulam, on the other hand, who said that one cup is sufficient, held like the Brisker Rav, that sheva berachos were instituted as part of Birkas Hamazon and therefore do not require their own cup.

Practically Speaking

The Tur (62:9) writes that the minhag Ashkenaz follows the custom brought by Tosafos to use a separate cup for Birkas Hamazon (and hagefen) than the rest of sheva berachos, and the minhag Sefard follows Rabbeinu Meshulam to use one cup for both. Indeed, this differentiation manifests itself in Shulchan Aruch (EH 62:9), where the Mechaber paskens like Rabbeinu Meshulam, whereas the Rema paskens that one should use two cups.

Regarding birchas erusin and nesuin, the Shulchan Aruch paskens that one must use two cups (like Tosafos understood from Rabbeinu Meshulam).

The Leil Haseder Dilemma

The poskim discuss the halachic dilemma that a sheva berachos on Leil Haseder poses. As mentioned, the minhag is to use two separate cups for Birkas Hamazon and sheva berachos. However, if an additional cup is used at the Seder, it gives the appearance that one is adding to the four cups of the night. [See Rema (472:7) who writes that if one forgot to lean when he drank the third or fourth cup, he shouldn’t drink again with haseibah. This is because it will look like he is adding to the four cups of the night, since the third and fourth cups are after the afikoman and one is only allowed to drink wine as part of the obligatory cups of the night.]

One Cup

Because of this problem, the Chida (Shu”t Chaim Sha’al 1:74:13) writes that at the Seder, one should rely on Rabbeinu Meshulam and recite the sheva berachos on the same cup that he uses for Birkas Hamazon. The Chida brings that this was also the psak of the Yaavetz. This was also the conclusion of the Teshuvah Me’ahavah (2:479).

Two Cups

However, the Pischei Teshuvah (EH 62:18) points out that the Chida and Yaavetz who discuss this shailah seem to have overlooked the fact that it was already discussed by the Rema in Darkei Moshe (473:4). The Darkei Moshe writes that in such a case, the one leading the bentching should make a hagefen following the bentching, and the rest of sheva berachos should be recited on a different cup. [The Darkei Moshe adds that the sheva berachos should be said on the cup of the chassan, but see Igros Moshe (EH 1:95) and Minchas Shlomo (2:58:18) who explain that this is not a requirement; it is simply nicer to give the chassan this kavod, and so that he will get to drink afterwards from the shel berachah.]

Rav Moshe Feinstein (Igros Moshe ibid.) points out that the ruling of the Rema is difficult to understand. Seemingly, the Rema’s ruling that two different cups should be used to circumvent the problem of chavilos chavilos is only a solution if we assume that everyone else’s cups (that they have by bentching) do not have the status of a kos shel berachah, as only the cup of the one leading the bentching attains this status — an assumption which Rav Moshe calls “a tremendous chiddush.”

Therefore, Rav Moshe writes that if he wasn’t afraid, he would rule like the Yaavetz, that one should recite the hagefen for Birkas Hamazon and the rest of the sheva berachos all on one cup. However, Rav Moshe concludes that since Ashkenazim rely on the majority of the Rema’s rulings, one should follow his instructions regarding this as well. This was also the psak of Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach (Hilchos Shlomo – Pesach 9:61).

The Sdei Chemed

Regarding the fact that the Yaavetz and Chida do not bring the Rema, see Sdei Chemed in his Klalei HaRema (Klalei Haposkim 14:5) who writes that when the Rema wrote something in Darkei Moshe and left it out of his glosses to Shulchan Aruch, we assume he was chozer [although the Sdei Chemed points out that this isn’t an ironclad rule; each case needs to be studied individually].

Based on this, the Sdei Chemed writes in Maareches Chosson V’Kallah (3:3) that the Yaavetz and Chida didn’t forget the Darkei Moshe; they merely held that since the Rema didn’t bring this psak in Shulchan Aruch, he must have been chozer. However, the truth is that the Chida himself in a different teshuvah (Yosef Ometz 47) already addresses those who thought that he didn’t see the Darkei Moshe. There, he writes that the Yaavetz brings the Rema’s source, the Minhagim, and brings proofs against it. Therefore, he didn’t feel the need to bring the Rema, as the Yaavetz already refuted it and he (the Chida) did not wish to write so lengthily in his teshuvah.

Ultimately, for Sefardim, being that the Rema in Darkei Moshe is a tremendous chiddush (like Rav Moshe pointed out) and the psak of the Shulchan Aruch is that one may always use one cup for Birkas Hamazon and sheva berachos, then even though the minhag does not follow the Shulchan Aruch, nevertheless on Leil Haseder one should use one cup like the Chida writes.

The Order of the Berachos

Generally, by sheva berachos the minhag is to make hagefen last. However, Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach (Minchas Shlomo ibid.) points out that from the lashon of the Rema above it seems that by a sheva berachos on Leil Haseder we say hagefen first. [Rav Shlomo Zalman is unsure about the reason for this.] The Chida (Chaim Sha’al ibid.) also writes that by a sheva berachos on Leil Haseder we make hagefen first. See also Shu”t Chazon Ovadia (siman 48).