Small tidbits and Sparks of wisdom

The Sages teach: “אַל תדִין את חֲברך עד שתגיע למקומו” — do not judge your fellow until you have reached his place (Avot 2:5). This statement is often quoted but just as often misunderstood.

The Easy, Popular Reading

Many explain it to mean: “Don’t be harsh on someone, because you don’t know his background. He may have grown up in poverty, in a controlling home, or in other extreme circumstances. His behavior is therefore a product of his past.” This reading has some truth — upbringing shapes habits — but it risks turning into a blanket excuse: “Don’t judge anyone, because everyone has a story.”

The Classic Reading of Chazal

Rashi and Rabbeinu Yonah, however, take the phrase far more literally. The Talmud (Sanhedrin 102b) relates that Rabbi Ashi once saw King Menashe, one of Israel’s most idolatrous rulers, in a dream. He asked Menashe why such a wise man would bow to idols. Menashe replied: “Had you lived in my time, you would have lifted your cloak and run after idols.”

In other words, it is only because Rabbi Ashi lived in a later era, after the overpowering temptation for idolatry was removed, that he could stand firm. If he had been placed in Menashe’s world, with Menashe’s trials, he would have stumbled even faster. The message is clear: until you have truly stood in another’s time, place, and circumstance, you cannot be certain how you would act.

A Modern Example: Generosity

Consider generosity. The Torah tells us to emulate Avraham Avinu, whose hospitality and open hand became the model of chesed. But what if you know someone who is only generous to himself — buying for his own pleasures, but stingy with others? The easy interpretation would be: “Don’t judge, he grew up deprived or controlled, so he hoards now.”

But the deeper teaching is different. The Mishnah says: do not judge, because if you had his exact inner wiring, his temptations, and his circumstances, you might have been worse. You might not have given at all. This is not about excusing bad behavior — the standard of Avraham remains the goal — but it is about humility. Our apparent superiority might